As mothers, we are the first and most prominent female role models that our daughters (and sons) have. Our behavior sends powerful messages about how women should act and how we fit into society.
Are you doing any thing (as below) unintentionally that might be passing wrong messages to your child.
Letting your child see an argument but not its resolution
Parents should strive to spare their kids from witnessing major arguments with their partner or anyone else. With that said, in my opinion, it can actually be helpful for children to see minor disagreements between adults if we also let them see how we come to a resolution. As mothers, it can be tempting to try to seem like the adult version of a princess in front of our daughters, as if we’re always right and never make mistakes. So when our kids see us squabble with another adult, we don’t talk about it with them afterwards. And we certainly don’t tell our kids if we had to apologize or compromise with our partner later. But if you’re not willing to admit your faults and model how an adult works to resolve differences in her relationships, you’ll be setting your daughter up for a lifetime of difficulty with her having no clue about conflict resolution.
Gossiping about other women with your friends
Gossip is tough to resist. But if you can show your daughter empathy and a desire to support other women, rather than participate in an environment of constant competition that society creates between us, that’s a trait that will serve your daughter well in life—both in her friendships and her own self-esteem.
Comparing yourself to other Women
Never use another woman’s appearance or accomplishments to put yourself down in front of your daughter, even if you think it’s good-natured. This is especially true for unrealistic images you see in the media.
Cancelling an outing because you don’t have anything appropriate for the occasion to wear
I wish I could say I had outgrown the desire to just call and cancel plans whenever I did not feel pretty in any of the clothes I found in my closet. That feeling still creeps up sometimes. But these days, I make a conscious effort to just grab something decent and go. Socializing is about the experience not about showing off your appearance. The people you are going to see are (or should be) interested in spending time with you, and you should be interested in spending time with them, too—not showing off how great you look.
Turning your nose up at practical skills because you are a woman
There is no task that’s beneath you because you are a woman, and there is no skill that’s not fit for women to master. I am not saying you shouldn’t let your husband take on the “manly duties” around the house if he likes to. But if you are ever in a situation where you need to change a flat tire, replace an old toilet flapper or grease a bicycle chain, never refuse to do so because of your gender. There’s a good chance your daughter is actually interested in learning how to do these things and wouldn’t you rather want her to know how to do them for herself someday?
Author: Priyanka Mohanty
Motherhood has been an amazing journey so far; each day, an adventure of sorts. After a stint in marketing and marketing communications, I am currently a stay at home mom, blogger, traveller and chef. Never thought I would be happy to call myself a SAHM! Right now, my 24/7 job is being a mom. I am here to share my thoughts and experiences on parenting, life and ways we could improve our lives. When I’m not reorganizing the drawers or handling tantrums, I can be found writing about health, nutrition, beauty and wellness. Also, I am an endangered bookworm who loves nothing more than finding the perfect solution to life’s little conundrums in books and nature.